| i'm sick of feeling this i'm never good enough for you crap. because that's one thing i sure as hell don't deserve.
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| the girl in front of me knocked over my coffee, getting it all over my notes and pants. and for the rest of the class and the bus ride back to my dorm, not only did it feel like i wet my pants, but the rest of the world just assumed i did. i should have poured the rest of the coffee i had left, all over that girl.
a week from now i'll be turning 20. i'm usually so pumped for my birthday and i go around annoying people about it for the whole month, but with the two exams i have next week and the crappy week i've been having, every little thing has been getting me down.
for some reason, turning 20 just makes me feel like a sucky person. i feel so, unaccomplished. looking at my life, it doesn't look like i'm going anywhere. the exams i got back this week look horrible, so my hopes of raising my gpa have been crushed. i can't even go home, because i keep getting the sense that my parents have given up on me. i used to complain about their high expectations of me, now it looks like they don't have any at all. i just hate how i ended up like this.
i just need for the next two weeks to be over. i can't take any more of this shit.
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| i seriously have constant anxiety. |
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| i guess this is some sort of twisted reality slap. and possibly something i deserve. |
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| i feel like such a baby
sometimes, i just need you to be there for me. sometimes i just need you to wipe away my tears. sometimes i just need you to tell me that it's going to be okay. sometimes i don't need advice, just a hug. sometimes i just need to vent and let go of the weight that i carry, just for a while atleast. sometimes i just have to cry in order for me to release that pent up anger and depression. sometimes it seems like you don't even care. and most of the time, it's like you can't even handle me when i'm at my worst. you can't even come down on your knee and comfort me when i've fallen. i just need you to listen. thats all. |
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